What is emotional well being, and why do I need it?

I love to know things so as soon as I start to study, I want to hear the definitions of what I am curious about. 

Emotional well-being is the ability to produce positive emotions, moods, thoughts and feelings and then being able to adapt when confronted with adversity and stressful situations. 

SO it’s being well with our emotions, mastering the ability to have a healthy relationship with our emotions, BUT how do we do that? It’s a skill we need to develop. 

So if you’ve been with me for awhile, you know that I teach that your thoughts create your feelings, feelings drive your actions and from that you get your results. 

But I am not about “turn and burn” of your thoughts, that just doesn’t work. Getting to the root of the feeling that’s being produced by your thoughts is the key to understanding the why behind the pain. I do not teach pushing aside, repressing, or ignoring because when we do that, it just comes out sideways unexpectedly. I want to explore the value of the thought, the reason they are coming up, learning what they are trying to tell us, understanding them and then solving problems. 

Our human brains do funny things when we feel feelings, especially negative ones. We tell ourselves that feeling bad is bad creating even more pain about what we are experiencing. 

I come from a family of building and construction, we like to create things with our hands. Being around construction, you know there can be a mishap here and there. I remember a few instances as a kid where I stepped on a nail. 

This kind of feeling is obvious - physical pain, in this case you immediately know the reason for your pain.

But with emotional pain it’s a little different. All of us judge ourselves for having feelings, especially negative ones. We let our inner-critic spin us up and although this might be a ridiculous example of the brain chatter, I want you to see it. We judge ourselves by saying things like: 
“OMG why do I feel this pain, what’s WRONG with me?” 

“Why can’t I just walk around this site like a normal person?” 

Why am I too stupid to see the nail right in front of me?” 

“Other people never have this problem?” 

“There must be something wrong with me that I can’t make it through a job site without stepping on a nail?”

“I’m never going to get this right!”

The pain is the message to tell you that there is something to explore, not something to judge. Do you see it? 

The nail is the cause of the pain - the pain is like “HEY FRIEND can you take a look down at the foot, we’ve got an issue to address.” Eliminating all the judgement drama makes it easier to address the cause of the pain. 

It is the same practice for emotional pain. Your feelings are the alert… telling you to look at your thoughts about the circumstance or about the results you’re seeing in your life. That’s what coaching helps you do. When you’re in the thick of it, in the swirl the inner-critic is causing, I step in to gently direct you to see what’s happening and we look to understand the source and then make a plan on how to handle it.  

Mastering emotional well-being is how you navigate through life’s challenges in a healthy way. Developing these skills create resiliency, adaptability and security within yourself, resulting in a well balanced life regardless of the circumstances that you’re presented with. 

Tell me what you think! Can you see the connection in how your thoughts cause your feelings?

Click here for a free session and I’ll show you how!

https://www.christeenolsencoaching.com/free-session

Also try my free inner-critic quiz to see how much that chatter is negatively affecting your daily life. 

https://www.christeenolsencoaching.com/inner-critic-quiz-1

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Have a great week friends!
Chris