Authentic Self

I remember this struggle vividly, not really knowing who I was unless it was in the context of being someone’s wife, someone’s mom or my role at work, but outside of that I lost my being. 

I was a people pleaser. I never wanted anyone to be mad at me. I wanted to be the easiest kid, a great wife and mom, a model employee and I played those roles pretty well. I have successes and failures in all those arenas but, overall was pretty successful, until I wasn’t. 

After 20+ years of being married, I was divorcing, we no longer could see eye to eye and were better off apart…I continued to navigate the best I could, supporting my kiddos and helping them get off to a good start and just plugging along. 

Just when I felt pretty good about coming through that and things seemed calm, we moved from a house to an apartment, the kids were off on their own so it was time to downsize and pay off debt. I hadn’t lived in an apartment since I was about 18 SHOCKING ADJUSTMENT. About 4 months after moving, I was laid off from a job that I’d been at for around 18 years, no reason for it. SHOCKING ADJUSTMENT. 

I woke up the morning after being laid off realizing.
I had no house. (I used to garden a lot so I really missed the house, but I did have shelter).

I had no job. (My gosh, I’ve worked full time since I was 15 years old, how is it possible that I don’t have a job?).I had no kids. (They both are off creating a beautiful life for themselves). I had no dog. (Of course my daughter took HER dog with her).

No house, no kids, no dog, no job…. Now what? 

It took a while to find my focus, it was a rollercoaster of emotions, I realized that I had a self identity that was only tied to the things I had lost. But it was also freedom to discover, try new things… thankfully I had a partner who was also patient with me and had no problem with me taking my time - he never pressured me to “FIND A JOB”, he just supported me, what ever that meant and what ever I needed. I learned to be more patient and calm and look at myself with curiosity and compassion. Not long after that, I found a coach who I swear spoke directly to me through her podcasts and then I joined her group coaching program. Through many hours of coaching, webinars, workbooks, podcasts and doing the work I have discovered who I am. 

It’s work that sometimes is very challenging and also sometimes easy to shed old thought patterns. I say “is” because it’s continuous. I am a human with a brain who can think some goofy things, so coaching is something I will continuously invest in and work on. 

My invitation to you, is to do this worthy work too. Working with a coach gives you space to see what’s going on in your brain, it gives you a check-in system and the opportunity to see things for what they are and what you want to change, update or improve. It’s a way to truly love yourself. 

My personal growth and change story is the exact reason I became a coach and it’s my privilege to serve in this way. 

Much love, 

Chris