B+ work vs. Perfectionism
Perfectionistic tendencies often come from a need to avoid failure/criticism at all cost.
To see if you unconsciously hold yourself back, and are stuck in the “perfect trap”, answer the following questions with yes or no:
Do you often feel what you accomplish is never quite good enough?
Do you often find that you rarely feel satisfied with your completed projects and work?
Do you often believe that if you do not do a perfect job, you are somehow less of a person?
Do you put things off because you’d rather not fail trying?
Do you people suggest that you should get out of your own way?
Do you sense that you try to cram too many things into your calendar? Or maybe overpromise results (you have greater expectations of what can be done versus what reality in days/hours really are)?
If the answer is yes to any one of these questions, it’ time to really take a look at how your perfectionism is treating you.
There is a cost to perfectionism:
You feel exhausted (mentally and physically
You spend a lot of time in fear - fear of failure, mistakes and disapproval
You have all or nothing perspective
You overcompensate to ensure you’re accepted
You put things off, which increases stress and anxiety
You know your expectations of yourself are too high yet you won’t adjust with out beating the crap out of yourself
You shrug off compliments
You minimizing or don’t celebrate your successes
You indulge in obsessive thinking
Take some time to reflect on your own perfectionistic tendencies and thought habits and replace them with healthy ones.
Take some time to reflect on your own perfectionistic tendencies and thought habits, and work on replacing them with healthier ones
Lean away from:
Always having to be right
Always having to win
Having to control everything
Judging or critiquing every move you make
Doubting and second-guessing yourself excessively
Considering the “what ifs”, what could or might go wrong
Instead, give yourself the freedom:
To make mistakes
To take risks
To be spontaneous
To have confidence in what you can do
To trust yourself
To have your own back
To remember that progress is always better than perfection
To commit to improvement
Experiment with doing things differently:
Try Breaking down goals into smaller tasks
Reverse engineer a goal, make your goals doable and realistic, bite sized chunks so that you can easily see your progress forward.
Try doing things on a variety of levels
Try allowing yourself to complete tasks or steps at a B+ level. Go for really good or great instead of perfect. Accept that every once in a while things are going to suck or you’re really going to miss the mark, and that’s ok! I guarantee you’ve learned something along the way and that is incredibly valuable for your next attempt.
Celebrate all the milestones and accomplishments, even the small and mundane
Any forward motion is progress. It deserves recognition. When we take time to celebrate progress, no matter how small, you’re planting a seed of positivity and encouragement in this kind of recognition.
MOST OF ALL Be kind to yourself
Criticizing yourself does not help you succeed, and self-compassion does not make you weak. You’ve got nothing to lose in showing yourself kindness and compassion.
Let me know how you do this week!
Perfectionism is just a habit and it can be disrupted.
Much love!
Chris
PS If you need help, I have a 12 week 1x1 Coaching Program dealing with the anxiety perfectionism causes and how to move toward resilience self-confidence. Come coach with me.
