I can’t
Do you ever take time to think about what you’re thinking about?
Kind of an odd question, I know, but you might be surprised to find out what’s rolling around in the 60K thoughts you have per day.
Some thoughts have been running on a low hum in the background of your mind for so long they are in auto-pilot mode and you aren’t even really aware anymore.
They sound something like:
I’m not good enough for…
I suck at that.
I’m just a procrastinator.
I don’t really deserve…
I’ll never find (love, friends, a great career).
I don’t know (constantly deferring to others to take the lead).
The root cause of all of this negative whisper is the core thought of “I can’t.” It’s the basis of all self doubt. The volume of the low hum turns up when we’re faced with a challenge, even ones we pursue or wish for ourselves.
Let me share an example, say there is an opportunity for a promotion but you have to apply for it. Your underlying (whispering) belief is “I’m not good enough”. Will you apply for the job, or will the “I’m not good enough” prevent you from applying? If you don’t apply, your brain will continue to believe that you’re not good enough and the evidence of not getting the promotion will also be evidence. See how tricky that is? You quit before you ever started, and your brain will decide that’s evidence that you really are not good enough, without even really knowing for sure, because you never actually tried.
The good news is, there are ways to recognize these low hum thoughts. Bringing them from the unconscious up to the conscious gives you the ability to decide. Doing a thought download (messy journaling or a thought dump, whatever you want to call putting thoughts on paper) will help you to see the thoughts apart from you. When you see them on paper you can identify patterns and trends and challenge their validity. You can decide if that thought is really true.
In our promotion example, you can bring forward the thought of not being good enough and counter it with facts of everything you’ve done in your career to show that you have the skill to do the job you want to be promoted into. At the very least you can give the negative thought and a positive thought equal air time. It will help neutralize the power of the “I can’t” and increase your belief that maybe you could. The practice of giving equal air time, will help you not to quit, before you even give yourself a chance.
So try a thought download when you catch yourself ruminating on a thought or are unsure of taking a chance or a risk and see what comes to the surface. Make it a normal practice to think about what you’re thinking about.
Have a great rest of the week, be kind to yourself!
Chris
