I just wanna feel better…
This is one of the top comments I get from clients when we first start working together. They can’t exactly put their finger on what’s wrong. On the outside things seem to be going ok but the house is messy, they yell at their kids too much, they feel exhausted all the time and everything FEELS chaotic.
Where do you start when your life feels like a “shit-show”?
We start with what your thoughts are spinning on. What is the back ground chatter saying to you? How do you feel when you look around at the sink full of dishes and the laundry that’s been piled on the kitchen table for a week?
Most of the time the feeling that comes with that is overwhelm. And when people are overwhelmed, it does not become a motivator to get the dishes done… it actually causes you to retreat further into avoidance and the answer to “feeling better” is to scroll on social media, play video games or over eat, over drink… and continue to avoid - the opposite of doing what you want to do and getting stuck in this loop.
What happens when you avoid or hide in those things and “wake up” hours later to see the dishes still in the sink? It’s likely you become overstimulated, irritable and start entertaining thoughts that you’re some kind of failure or excuse yourself because “you’re just a procrastinator”, and are probably yelling at the kids or your partner for things you wouldn’t normally.
The way to feel better is to find the thought that is making you feel terrible. You can do this right now. When you find it, really look at it. First of all, is it true? Is it your own thought or is it a voice from your past criticizing you? Your inner critic can be sneaky, disguising it’s voice as protective instead of truthful, spinning a story to keep you on the couch, systematically talking you out of participating in your life or berating you in a way that stops you from living to the fullest.
If you believe your inner critic, that’s what you become. The beliefs you hold about yourself come from the thoughts you think. What are you thinking about you? Be curious and willing to see with love and take small steps to change the patterns and progress will follow.
If you can’t quite get through the mountain of dishes, decide to spend 10 minutes prepping the dishes, rinse and stack. Set a timer, and get as far as you can. The moment that little voice starts to criticize and tell you it wasn’t good enough, remind yourself that you set a goal of 10 minutes and did what you said you were going to do. It’s really important to recognize that you did what you said you were going to do, you had your back and build on that. You will feel better when you follow through and give yourself credit. This is where we start.
Have a great week!
Chris
PS. Share with anyone that you know who needs to feel better this week.
PSS. If you’d like to see what a 1x1 session would be like, schedule one now, it’s FREE!
