Feel Harder

I was at a Mastermind Conference last week and the theme was “Feel Harder”.

To be honest, it made me a little nervous as soon as I heard it because I’m a human who, like you prefers to minimize the negative. I prefer safety, and that means avoiding a good number of emotions. 

I’ve lived most of my life following the norms, trying not to upset anyone, and even tried not to be too seen or too noticed. I always tried to be a good girl (for who? E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E.).

I believed that avoiding being seen/heard would make me acceptable, but I was restless. 

I pushed feelings and emotions aside whenever they became uncomfortable. Do you know that if you do that too long you either teach yourself not to feel at all or they spill out all over the place at the most inopportune moments?

Did you know that seeking relief from feeling your feelings can look like:

• Over-eating

• Over-drinking

• Over-self critical thoughts

• Over-scrolling on social media

• Over-controlling (whatever you can)

• Over-positivity (toxic positivity)

• Over-reacting

• Grinding through

• Manipulation

Avoiding or not allowing yourself to be fully human, causes suffering. 

My challenge is to be willing… willing to see what I am least skilled at feeling, and to practice allowing the feeling without resisting or pushing it away. I’m going to be really transparent because I want you to look to see what feelings you need to learn how to allow also. 

I struggle the most to allow:

• Fear (it causes panic in my body, legit stomachaches)

• Shame (I feel it in the back of my throat, it makes me tear up, and it makes it difficult for me to communicate)

What are yours?

Consider the following question for your journal/reflection time:
How would my life be different if my emotional strength was stronger? 

If you want a full human experience, you have to be willing to feel all the feels. 

You can increase your capacity to feel with practice, just be willing to feel more feelings more often. 

Remember a couple of things, outside of fight/flight responses, it’s your thought about the circumstance that causes the feeling. Examine your thoughts, see where they take you. Also remember it takes just 90 seconds for your body to process a feeling (unless you continue to think the thought).

Lean in, be compassionately curious. I’m right here with you doing the work. 

Be kind to yourself, 

Chris 

Share with a friend, come and get coached, I’m right here with you!