People pleasing & Performance Anxiety, oh my…
I spent a lot of my life in performance anxiety and people pleasing.
I lived to please others so that I could feel good about myself, and it was exhausting, unfulfilling, stressful and hard on me and my family...
My symptoms:
Over working to make sure everything was perfect (up until midnight checking and rechecking my work).
Never feeling good enough, no matter how much I did.
I could never relax - I remember taking a family vacation to FL, a 10 day vacation where we stayed in a beautiful home on a canal, with a boat and a pool in Ft. Myers with my brother and his sweet wife, it was perfect. It took me 4 days to wind down to appreciate where I was and who I was with… and the wind-up started on day 7 anticipating the trip back home. Only 3 days of enjoyment.
When someone asked me what I liked, I truly had no idea.
I had huge anxiety about being an imposter in my own life and was always waiting "for the shoe to drop".
Endless worry about anything and everything.
Racing pulse, sweaty palms, tightness in my throat, dry mouth... the list goes on and on...all while pretending that everything was ok.
I got tired of sleepless nights, the Sunday night scary's, and knew that I had to figure this out...
I found a pod cast and a coach that changed my life. She taught me so much about myself and how my thoughts were the key to finding my confidence and relief from trying to achieve the unachievable. Coaching helped me understand that negative thoughts and beliefs about me and my abilities were robbing me of my peace. I learned to be curious and question my thoughts, and after some time and practice, I could recognize the negative trends and redirect... self confidence, and self love emerged.
Everything changed. The healing relief that came from being curious and to lovingly challenging the validity and truth about what was rolling around in my brain changed the trajectory of my life.
I wanted so much to share this with others, that I studied and became a certified coach so that I could serve others. I could not fathom keeping these tools to myself and am compelled to find every single woman (especially those like me) to lay down all the people pleasing antics and find their true selves, to live in truth and authenticity and to love who they are.
No people pleasing and no performance anxiety needed. ever. again.
Does any of this resonate with you? I know I am not alone in this.
I’d ask you to comment and share your thoughts and struggles with me here on my blog (and you’re welcome to do that) but I also know that if I were reading this, I would never admit in a public place how much I was suffering. It’s ok, I understand. That’s the beautiful thing about coaching, it’s a complete safe space for you to share, and learn, and challenge yourself.
When you’re ready, I have the tools to help you find relief like I did. You will be able to trust yourself and your decisions, have your own back, you’ll find your worth again, or maybe for the first time, you will never have to do things out of obligation again… I got you.
