The Space Between
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about circumstances that trigger my emotional reactions. Sometimes it’s a pleasant or a happy reaction and sometimes it’s a reaction that I’m not proud of.
The one’s I am not proud of, are the ones on my mind lately. The things that trigger a feeling of offense or anger for me are usually the careless, abrupt or rude comments or a comment with a judgy tone. I can be quick to react and it usually mirrors what was said to me. Isn’t that funny, the thing we don’t like or “would never” we end up throwing right back at the person we were offended by. Being cut off in traffic, we’re quick to flip the bird or yell a colorful word their way. We really have no way of knowing why they are in such a hurry but our perception of their action or commentary is based on what we think is rude or careless behavior.
There is a line in a book that I read by Brianna Wiest that said “ When there is no awareness between what you perceive and the way you respond, anything can control you.”
Read that again…Let it sink in for a minute…
We are oftentimes controlled by our emotions which are created by our perceptions. Perceptions are created by our life experiences and assumptions. What offends me, may not offend you because we have different perceptions. Our perceptions create our reality and are accurate to us and they depend on our current psychological state. If something pisses you off one day, it may only be a slight irritation the next.
I know that the only thing that I can control is me, and I can choose my reaction every single time, for every single circumstance, the question is how.
It’s seeing that space between. That small, beautiful space between the trigger and the action I take. It's a choice, a decision, an opportunity. The pause is the space where I can decide what’s worth my energy, what’s worth my time and ultimately what is worth my peace. How you engage determines how much peace you get to keep or how much you give away, it’s a choice, it’s a decision, it’s an opportunity, every single time.
My encouragement to you today is to practice the pause. When you feel offense simmer up in your body, pause. Give yourself the opportunity to choose and decide on purpose. You will always physically feel it first, maybe in your chest, or your throat, possibly a flutter in your stomach, practice the pause. Don’t let your mouth be too quick to react (retaliate). That feeling is the notification to your brain to act, it’s right there, in that space where you pause, delay the action to consider your peace.
What you engage with, is what you empower (another line from Brianna Wiest… it’s a good one huh).
Be kind to yourself and find the space bewteen this week!
Chris
